The routine life

This week, surprisingly not much activity and I found a machine with net connection handy... With some time to spend with old friends (online of course)...

What I realized after sometime was that the "routine" life somewhere seems to be lacking in something... an inexplicable emptiness that any number of dollars or properties or relationships or anything can fill in. It looks like one mad race, towards what, nobody knows. I'm not saying it is devoid of happiness or fun or cherish-able moments, there are moments, but in the larger perspective, it seems like one monotonous drone. After a few years, it may all seem one meaningless doodle.

In my limited understanding, what makes the difference is the context in which you go through life. The content doesn't matter. When there's a tinge of spirituality constantly in the tongue, the taste of life differs and it makes all the difference. As Sadhguru says, if you are in touch with the source of creation on a daily basis, then life is very very very very different. So true...

For me, spirituality came when I started work. Till then it was youthful energy pushing me in a variety of directions. After that, I feel it has been a rich colorful canvass, no longer a doodle. Somewhere I feel, looking at all my friends, that for many of them, life is happening on the surface, very superficially, which leaves a little complicated happy-n-sad taste in me... in a way empathy, how much they are missing out on life... in a way relief, that my life would have been no different but for the miraculous ways of Life's shower of grace...

At the end of the day, everyone wants to lead their life by their choices. I made my choice. Your choice is in your hands...

The dynamic ways of Life...
And its uncertainties,
The only surety.

Unmindful of the capriciousness that life is,
The foolish life squanders away.
And when reality knocks,
Bewildered and crying, exits.

The watchful one,
Can't miss the touch of Thy Hand...
One look from the corner of your Eyes...
The same source of suffering
Now, is the source of freedom.

Shambho.

random ramblings on a random day

This Diwali, I could spend it with my parents... Was happy to be with them.

After the blizzard that was, just before Diwali, the teachers' meet, this way of life that I was used to for years before just the last one, seems so different. I used to be a TV freak, especially when it comes to festive occasions. I would rather watch TV than meet up with people outside then. Now it is slightly different. I would rather not watch TV nor meet up with outside people :-D

A few critical turns around in life,

The trust in Grace to see through,

Life unfolds...

The wicked one

One hand to feel,

One hand to hold the stick,

To feel through the world,

This man, blind of vision...

Wading through the world,

With mighty instruments two,

Thought, I did.

Until I realized,

The wicked smile of yours.

The apparent guiding lines

Nothing but binding ropes

Such an evil scheme!

Or is it the true masterpiece?

To abandon the stick,

To abandon the hand,

To simply walk,

With true vision...

For what use are they,

To see within...

Am dazed. Truly dazed. The logic which was the guiding force now is muddled.

Now I see "I don't understand. I don't know. I don't know what to do". From here where next?

When Grace descends the questions vanish. The questioner vanishes. But only for that period. After that the drama continues...

c.r.a.p

yeay! everybody has a job, i also have a job...
yeay! everybody has a wife, i also have a wife...
yeay! everybody has a child, i also have a child...
holy heavens, i am no less than any of you...
i can hold my head high up in the society and walk...
nobody can point a finger at me...
nor can they pass whispers...
i think i have made my life...

what crap!

First gifts of Life

The fettering love
The unconditional out pour
The maddening emotion
The wishful thinking
The child in you
The Divine in you...

Torn and humbled...
Can't give...
In or back...

Helpless...
To strike the balance
Shambho, see us through.

September 25, 2009

This shall be a very special day... One that I shall look back in the future... The one that marked the end of what was sparked off about 6 months ago...

As emotions play around, as a meloncholic strain of breaking a relationship of sorts arises, I am reminded of the futility of the mind that wants to cling on to anything and everything. The stark truth being that in the end, when mortality comes into picture, not a single atom can be taken along. When that is the reality, I can't help but smile, amidst the emotions playing a mourning cello in the background. There lies the power of death, in driving home the point of futility of our actions, clinging on, not wanting change, let alone transformation.

Such is the mind - flimsy, whimsical...
Such is the emotion - flimsy, whimsical...
Such is Life.
No, such is life of the ignorant.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
and looked down one as far as I could
to where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
and having perhaps the better claim
because it was well trodden and safe
as opposed to the less travelled one;

And both that morning equally lay
in leaves no feet had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!

And the other day came...
-Sorry Mr. Frost, for the edits to the original

Transformation

From an egg to a caterpillar to a pupa to a butterfly... It is a fantastic process, quite unbelievable in many ways, to see that such a beautiful butterfly appears out of a little dull egg. Such is the magic of creation, but if you didn't read it in Science books, and if you saw an egg and a butterfly, will you know that one came out of the other. No... That is the way I feel at times. When I see human beings who have transformed themselves in such a tremendous way, I doubt if such a thing is possible for us, but they were also once like us. After crawling through life like the caterpillar, right now life is like the pupa. A little more evolved than the caterpillar, but still a dull pupa... Happy, warm, comfortable and cuddled up inside the little cocoon... Not knowing the life of a soaring butterfly, stuck and unmoving... If the transformation has to happen, the cocoon must be broken. What appears like life threatening, that is, breaking of the cocoon that has been the very protection so far, is actually liberating. For a logical mind, a security seeking mind, it may seem absurd that the very house is being broken, but that's the only way the butterfly can come out. It may be a painful process to break open the pupa, but the end result is far more worthy than the shell. Other pupae will never know the experience the butterfly has... They may belittle, argue and call out the foolishness in breaking open the cocoon. But once the desire to transform has set in, one has to make the effort to break open the cocoon... Once the cocoon starts breaking, someday Nature may take over and one may end up soaring as a vibrant butterfly...

Mirage

To leave behind a legacy, that cannot stand Time,
To extend the lineage, that knows not the Origin,
To maintain the glory of the caste, that I did not choose to be born into,
Can't you see Dear, all but futile attempts to live Beyond
The inevitable hands of physical mortality...

Immortal, Limitless, Unbounded...
Call it whatever you want...
The fundamental need is the same...
Only the expression differs...
For you and me...

In your quest, you charter my Life
And in my quest, I charter, again, my Life...
Never may understand my ways
But that is not going to stop me
From pulling you Home.

p.s: This had been lying in the drafts for quite a while. Now that I decided to post it, couldn't think of any title. So, if you were looking for the reason for the title, can I say

Dry and parched, Too thirsty am I
A mirage can't quench anymore...

Seeking...

In a way, this outlines seeking. The interpretation may depend on one's mindset, life situations, aspirations, etc, but it is a wonderful outlining.

http://www.osorhan.com/bigo/index.php

The story of me and Him

As we meandered, through the dreary desert,
In meaningless circles, parched and dry...
Thirsty were we, searching were we...

Did we come upon a clearing in the woods,
Lush and green, full of life,
Irresistibly inviting...

Asked did I... lured and wary...
Is this THE Home?
What about our desert tents?
And our treasure bags?

Said did He... confident and steady...
Not at all. The tent is the home.
Let's add a few berries to the treasure bags
For the rest of the journey...

And today,
He's dropped the bags
And gone back Home... to THE Home!

Why can't this one final piece in the jigsaw puzzle fit itself in, in whichever way it wants to...

Circus of Life...

As I wallow in the mire of emotions...
Strangled by the psychological ropes...
Bounded by the twines of deeds...
Gripped by the fear of unknown...
Taunted by the filial obligations...
Tormented by the sweet little emotion...
Can't trust I,
This failing mind...

A sweet little wish,
Here and There...
Is the pain of a whip
Taking no where...

Shower Thy Grace, and see me through
Am a lost little one, Behold my hand and lead me through
Tricks and plans, I continue to conjure
In vain hopes, of trying to be secure

Where will I go, what shall I do...
I seek thy Grace, for only that shall see me through...

2008 - personally

Missed opportunity - the longing and pain - The sleepless night - the rapture - the presence - In the presence of the master - linga bhairavi - the explosions - the tears - the nature re-creation - the hanging from the rope knotted at chest - the slow salutations - gratitude - BSP - new friends -
Kailash Manasarover yatra - the fall there - the finger touch - the thumb touch - the dip - the vision - the questions - the initiation - the stories - the mystery - Continuing madness - continuing longing - dropping desires - Two classes - more volunteering - Sunday special rapturous communion - Mahima consecration - the Bija mala - the slap - the question - the impending answer - the planning - The fake reason fruition - Fun trips - yellow stone - natural geysers - nature in colors - wild life - camping - india trip - confrontation at home - the emotions - filial obligations - the nieces - betterment of lives - vegas - the games - the circus - the grand madness - the canyons - the magnificent beauty - los angeles - the beaches - the zoo - the sea world - the coaster rides - one less fear in heights - musically rich - physically same - mentally less blocking - spiritually ???

100 posts in 1 year... my boss should be happy :-D

Yes, I am blessed. Ending this year with lots of gratitude and wishing for a definitive clarity and fruition of THE opportunity.

Satsang

To sit with you
Is threatening...
To listen to you
Ego shattering...

Every moment passes by...
In inexplicable ways...
Frenzied at times...
Serene at others...
Exploded sometimes...
Imploded other times...
A million different ways...

Still, there isn't a better way
To live through a day...
Awakened...
In your presence,
In life's essence.

Half baked

Not of the intelligent lot
To just be focused on the one...
Not of the other lot
To wallow in the mundane...
This half-baked state...

Came the knock one fine day,
To go about strengthening
That rope on the path...
The one that will Hold
Till the very end,
To the other end...

மெய் அறியா அறியாமையில்,
பொய்யான மெய்யில் ,
சிக்குற்ற எந்தன்,
கட்டுக்களை அறுக்கும்,
அறக்கட்டளை என்று வருமோ...
அன்று பித்தம் களைந்து,
சித்தம் தெளிந்து,
பித்தனும் ஆவான் சித்தனே...

Non-being

Mighty words
Spoken about it
Didn't help recollect
The "accidental" experience of it.

One similar fall,
In the sacred space,
Bought it all back...
And now, I want more.

A couple of more revolutions...
All that is to be seen, will be seen,
Including the third pinnacle
And the eyes will close.

Hmmm

So... dazed!
As I watch this play,
Unfold with its twists and turns,
Dazed... so dazed!
----------------------------------
As I hang around
In dropping leaves to the ants
The older ant is on board
Grace!
----------------------------------
The half understood verses
Were probably right...
As the plot unfolds
An inexplicable peace
Is all is.

Leaf or life

A bunch of leaves
Floating together
The swim is nice
Warm and Happy...

With the swim
Tiring down
One after another
Settle on the shores...

The few wild ones
Eyeing the ocean
Unmindful of the shores
What will they do...

In the winds
They trust
In the winds
That begun the swim
In the winds
That power the swim
In the winds
That will power
The swim, to the ocean.

Gratitude...

Words fail...
For what you've imparted
The way life has transformed
The way every little thing about
That which is called me has changed...

"A tiny freckle of energy"
The words keep resounding...
A tiny freckle, this one,
Still wants the expanse
A riddle, it was
Until you unraveled it...

Words fail...
In silence...
In gratitude,
I bow down to thee.
To all the other kind hearted ones
Who lit lamps along
The path they walked...

And to the very one
Who taught all this...
Who IS.