2008 - personally

Missed opportunity - the longing and pain - The sleepless night - the rapture - the presence - In the presence of the master - linga bhairavi - the explosions - the tears - the nature re-creation - the hanging from the rope knotted at chest - the slow salutations - gratitude - BSP - new friends -
Kailash Manasarover yatra - the fall there - the finger touch - the thumb touch - the dip - the vision - the questions - the initiation - the stories - the mystery - Continuing madness - continuing longing - dropping desires - Two classes - more volunteering - Sunday special rapturous communion - Mahima consecration - the Bija mala - the slap - the question - the impending answer - the planning - The fake reason fruition - Fun trips - yellow stone - natural geysers - nature in colors - wild life - camping - india trip - confrontation at home - the emotions - filial obligations - the nieces - betterment of lives - vegas - the games - the circus - the grand madness - the canyons - the magnificent beauty - los angeles - the beaches - the zoo - the sea world - the coaster rides - one less fear in heights - musically rich - physically same - mentally less blocking - spiritually ???

100 posts in 1 year... my boss should be happy :-D

Yes, I am blessed. Ending this year with lots of gratitude and wishing for a definitive clarity and fruition of THE opportunity.

2008 - Musically...

It has been an extra ordinary year for Rahmaniacs. Such a variety and grandeur in every offering that came by us this year. A quick observation on each:

Jodhaa Akbar: Grand, magnificent, melodious, mellifluous, spiritual and fresh for a period movie.
Jaane Tu: Fresh, fun evoking, peppy, foot tapping, youthful, soulful, romantic and jazzy.
Ada: Different, stylish, soulful, melodious, vintage ARR.
Sakkarakatti: Stylish, Melodious, foot tapping, experimental, vintage.
Yuvvraaj: I can't get enough of this masterpiece. Operatic, western classical, soulful, melodious, mellifluous, orchestral, energetic, euphoric, levitating... Trademark ARR.
Ghajini: Rocking, hip-hopping, jazzy, mellifluous, blues, experimental... sure shot commercial music, like Sakkarakatti.
Slumdog: Trademark ARR! One movie to get him the world recognition that has been long due.
Connections: Haven't heard it yet...

Here's wishing him all the very best for the Oscars and Golden Globe and wishing him an even more successfull 2009 and hoping for a even bigger treat to the ears in the coming year.

Recent happenings

As the title says...

• Saw bommalattam. Not a bad movie. One of the better movies to come out in the Tamil film industry. Bharathiraja must change his editor. A fascinating climax!
• Listening to aahaa FM via aahaafm.com. Gives a feeling of being in Chennai :-)
• Have been having a lot of physical ailments one after another (back sprain, stomach pull, teeth and gum problems, continuing stomach ailments) and just going along.
• Went on a single day of silence
• Watched a few crappy movies that were supposedly good (Poi solla porom was one of them... I can't even seem to recollect the names of the others)
• Was snowed in and house arrested for more than a week due to heavy snow.
• Went on a trip to San Diego and Los Angeles.
• Had an adventure filled trip including a business class flight travel as the operating airline had to give an alternate flight due to flight delays and snow.
• Seem to have gotten better off my acrophobia and took all of the rides that we could manage in the time we had, along with the other guys (Anto, Arun, Gokul, Raghu, Satish and Sai) at six flags
• The whole world's in vacation right now for the holiday season.
• Belated Christmas wishes
• Advance New year wishes...
  

Tiring madness

Aimless and purposeless,
In one kind of madness...
Aimless and Purposeless,
In another kind of madness...
A world of difference, between the two
Tiring out slowly, in between the two...

:-D :-D :-D

L.A. critics named A.R.Rahman for the best music score of 2008 (for Slumdog Millionaire of course)
http://www.variety.com/VR1117997085.html

Even better, A.R.Rahman gets nominated for the best original score in the Golden Globe Awards.
http://www.goldenglobes.org/nominations/index.html

Let's wait for the Oscar nominations as well...

Settler vs Pearl Diver

The lake is calm and serene...
Should I muddle the waters?
All fish peacefully asleep...
Should I disturb them?
The body is warm and cozy...
Should I allow the cold to bite?
No, for the settler...
Yes, for the pearl diver.

:-D

Looks like this blog finished it's 4th birthday and entered into the 5 year recently (Nov 21st). It was a friend of mine who observed this...

Anyways, right now, as it goes unstated, I am 24x7 immersed with Ghajini (Hindi) songs. I'll write a review when I'm back from vacations this week. Is this the first time rediff has given a 5/5 for the music of a film? Check out Ghajini's review here.

Well, for the thanksgiving weekend, Raghu, Arun, Pala and myself from Seattle will join the SFO troupe (Sai, Murry, Goyya and 2 others) at Vegas and the Canyons...

Should we term this trip as Vagabonds in Vegas or Kenayans in Canyons...

Is A.R.Rahman repetitive?

This is from the A.R.Rahman's fan group that I am part of. Originally written by one Mister "Chord".

ORIGINAL POST: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arrahmanfans/message/106665

Content pasted here for convenience...

As he always has! Listen to all the soundtracks this year alone and just observe how varied his music is, never sounding repetitive. If someone says that Rahman has been repetitive this year, I'm going to scream! He is the most versatile composer probably the world has ever known.

Lately, Rahman has been more in experimental mode, dabbling in various musical genres that for some, may sound foreign and unusual, hence the strong initial reactions to his soundtracks and why his music does indeed take time to sink in. Rahman's music has always taken time to sink in due to the thick layering of his music, complex arrangements, and use of different musical genres. There is nothing at all predictable about what he will do next! You may not like a particular album due to the sound, style, genre etc. and that's ok. There's always the next one. That's why I can never say that Rahman is "not living up to his standards" because he keeps reinventing himself each album. All successful artists have the burden of matching up to their previous successful works and I for one am so glad that Rahman is progressive enough to not fall into the trap of trying to recreate old albums in various disguises. That would lead to him being bored, uninspired, and others labeling him as repetitive and outdated. It's got to be tough on him to try to create something new and fresh with each release and I so admire Rahman's brilliant
creativity and couragessness, knowing that sometimes, his experiments may not be taken as well as he had hoped.

Let's be clear. Rahman works hard on every album. Maybe at certain times, there are too many demands that don't allow him spend more time on a soundtrack, but given the time that he has, I am sure he gives it his all. Before some of us moan and groan how Rahman is not living up to this or that, just remember how blessed we are to be able to hear his music today. That's not a guarantee.

And lastly, who says that Rahman has to give perfect elegance and mindblowing complexities to each and every song he makes? Have some of you ever thought that when he creates light numbers like Latoo, etc., that it's the director who demands that type of number? Please
try to keep a broad perspective. You don't have to like a particular Rahman song, but please keep in mind that maybe it's the type of song needed for a film situation or was demanded of him.

Rahman is trying to force us to be open minded about music, to appreciate different genres, and to challenge our musical tastes so that we can enjoy life more, enjoy a broader range of music. Whether an album receives a positive or negative review or whether it sells good or bad, Rahman is human afterall, but I know that he is trying his best despite the pressure from all around him.

Satsang

To sit with you
Is threatening...
To listen to you
Ego shattering...

Every moment passes by...
In inexplicable ways...
Frenzied at times...
Serene at others...
Exploded sometimes...
Imploded other times...
A million different ways...

Still, there isn't a better way
To live through a day...
Awakened...
In your presence,
In life's essence.

In a sathsang during Mahima consecration...

Shankaran Pillai wanted to build a house. He met up with an architect. The architect showed one plan after another and Shankaran Pillai kept rejecting all of them. Finally, exhausted, the architect asked "What is it that you want?". Shankaran Pillai pulled out a small door knob from his pocket and said "I need a house that will go with this"

This story shall bear a great significance in the coming times...

Obama!

Congratulations!

History has been made as the first non-white person becomes the president of the United States. Let us hope the world becomes a better place from now on, now that the irresponsible ruler of the nation that dictates many a situations in the world is replaced by a more sensible one.

Being Rahman

I can't get enough of this person's humility. On a question on how he gets time to choose fresh singers for almost every one of his projects amongst his tight schedule, he says "Out of the thousand voices, if 2 voices can get your attention, when it can make a person like me turn and look, won't it make the thousands of listeners, the better judges in music, want to listen to them...."



Many people flaunt humility as it is considered a virtue, making it vulgar. But he is one person I am seeing who lives it. I don't have anything more to say but to watch this adorable saint, in great admiration...

Let thy presence be all that I desire.

A.R.Rahman

Highly recommended interview... The way he is rooted is simply amazing... He is a saint, isn't he?

Yuvvraaj

A.R.Rahman is the yuvvraaj!

The first few times when I heard it, it seemed a bit unfamiliar and I could not get the melody flow. But once you get the flow of the song, it is simply mind blowing. It is rich, profound, grand and magnificent. This will go in as one of the master pieces of the little Maestro.

Each song can be discussed in great detail, but I'll limit myself for want of time.

1. Main hoon yuvvraaj: Beethoven's 5th symphony aptly used as an intro to the character as well as the album, to hint on what the listener is in for.

2. Tu hi mera Dosth: The intro with the cello, backing vocals and solo female operatic singing is sheer magic. Benny rocks. Shreya croons and Rahman aptly supports. Gives you a feeling of floating.
Note at 3:57 the introduction of an African drum kind of percussion for a brief while... WOW!

3. Tu Muskura: Alka and Javed score fully. Sargams are euphoric. Another song that lifts you up, makes you light. Note at 2:01, how the interlude switches from the Dosth to serve as a prelude to the tune in the Charanam. Another WOW!

4. Shano shano: I hated this song for the first few times, with its old style pop music feel. But after some time, now I am able to enjoy this. This will be the next Pappu can't dance... Straight to the disco floors. The "shano shano" is quite catchy. The singers omitting the last words of the line for the first time and then singing it the second time in the beginning of the song gave an interesting listening experience. The switching sounds between left and right will give an enhanced listening experience to those using headphones.

5. Shano Shano remix: Awesome for a remix. Do not skip since it's a remix. In fact, this is slower than the original, with a great hip hop theme around it.

6. Manmohini: Vijya Prakash will become a well known name after this song. Very catchy "thom thanana" backing up, great hindustani rendition and an ultra cool fusion song. When I saw "manmohini" in the song list, I was actually expecting a slow devotional number, but this surprised me pleasantly. Wouldn't have complained if the song was longer.

7. Zindagi: Srinivas, MY MAN!!!! What a soulful number and what a soulful rendition. After a long time, this song made me search for lyrics and memorize it for I can sing along. One of the best melodies in the recent time.

8. Mastam: What a fun number!!! It's very unconventional... We haven't heard a song like this before. Sonu justifies why he was chosen. With all the different animal noises, continuous claps, unconventional melody pattern, I am eagerly awaiting the picturization of this song...

9. Yeh Rishta: Should be the climax song. This has the standard ARR trademark for racy orchestration and full throated vocals. A very interesting song with sargams intertwined with a western classical tune that flows to Indian style too. Great singing by everyone. The beginning piano is simply awesome.

I don't have a great confidence in the movie's plot but I do believe that Mr.Ghai would do visual justice to this opulent composition. The preview pics are promising. However the movie be, it is going to be a musical treat as the music is interwoven with the whole story with all characters related to music in one way or the other.

One line summary: As this post begins, A.R.Rahman is the Yuvvraaj.

Isai...

One of the everyday activities for me is to indulge in music... be it singing along, or just listening, or both or working alongside music... but music is an essential part of my everyday life... My interest in music grew primarily from Film music... Tamil film music to be particular... since advent of A.R.Rahman in Roja, to be even more particular... Ever since my interest in music has only grown and that little master never ceases to amaze me and continues to captivate me... It was after A.R.Rahman that I started to listen to the older compositions of Ilayaraja, another master with his own niche... The interest in Irish music and western classical violin stemmed out of exposure to these genres in the recent past, thanks to youtube...

Music isn't just entertainment... It takes me to various states depending on what I am listening to... Music does definitely have an impact on your inner nature, in my experience...

As is eating and sleeping, so is music, to me... This post stands in thankfulness to the above people for being a part of my life, everyday...

Half baked

Not of the intelligent lot
To just be focused on the one...
Not of the other lot
To wallow in the mundane...
This half-baked state...

Came the knock one fine day,
To go about strengthening
That rope on the path...
The one that will Hold
Till the very end,
To the other end...

:)

The get together went along very very well... All 14 turned up and we had a great time and of course great food. The menu that Naresh and I decided was thus:

Starter: Vegetable bread bonda (Gomathi/Vimal)
Panneer curry (Pallavi/Vijay)
Chapathi (Us)
Veg biryani (Gomathi/Vimal)
Bisibelabath (Us)
Kovakkai fry (Harini)
Curd rice (Us)
Gulab Jamun (Vidya)
Payasam (Harini)
Chocolate torte (Yamini)
Ice cream + Fruit custard (Sindhu/Ramanathan)
Miscellaneous snacks from shops

General chat followed by lunch followed by the gaja-buja game, some sam anderson and TR stunts made the entire day a laughter filled one...



Back row: Harini, Pallavi, Yamini, Gomathi, Vidya, Sindhu, Vimal and Naresh
Front row: Arun, Vijay, Ramanathan, myself, Raghu and Anto

Happy diwali!!!

Diwali here...

This is what has been planned... Let's see how things go... A potluck get-together among my college mates (Anna univ 2k4 passouts)

:-D

அன்புள்ள பெரியோர்களே தாய்மார்களே...

வரும் தீபாவளித்திருநாளை முன்னிட்டு சியாட்டில் வருத்தப்படாத வாலிபர் சங்கம் தங்கள் இல்லத்திற்கு வரும் ஞாயிறு (26 ஆம் தேதி) மதியம் ஒரு மணிக்கு உங்களை வருக வருக என வரவேற்கிறது... இந்த முறை நாம் அனைவரும் "அதிர்ஷ்டப்பானை" (அதானப்பா பாட் லக்) முறையில் தீபாவளியை கொண்டாட உத்தேசித்துள்ளோம்... ஆகையால் தாங்களும் தங்கள் துணைவி/துணைவரும் எங்கள் வீட்டிற்கு வந்து சிறப்பிக்குமாறு கேட்டுக்கொள்கிறோம்.

சமீபத்தில் எங்கள் வருத்தப்படாத வாலிபர் சங்கத்தில் இருந்து முதியோர் சங்கத்தை சேர்ந்த திருமணமான மக்கள் தங்கள் திருமணப்புகைப்படங்களை எடுத்து வருமாறு கேட்டுக்கொள்ளப்படுகிறார்கள் மிரட்டப்படுகிறார்கள்.

அனைவரும் இந்திய பாரம்பரிய உடையில் வருவது அந்நாளை இன்னும் சிறப்பாக்கும் என்று எங்கள் சங்கம் நம்புகிறது...

கொசுறு: நாம் கொண்டாட இருக்கும் தினத்தில் தங்கத்தலைவி அசின் பிறந்தநாளும் இருப்பதால், சியாட்டில் அசின் ரசிகர் மன்றத்தின் தலைவர் மற்றும் ஒரே உரிப்பினருமான நரேஷ் நமக்கு சிறப்பு நிகழ்ச்சிகளை வழங்குவார். எங்கள் சங்கத்தின் மேற்கூறிய கோட்பாடுகளை மதிக்காதவர்களை அசின் மற்றும் தெலுங்கு சூப்பர் ஸ்டார் பாலய்யா நடித்த பயங்கர மொக்கையான ஒரு அட்டுப்படத்தை கட்டாயப்படுத்தி பார்க்க வைப்போம்.

தங்கள் வரவை எதிர்பார்க்கும்,
சியாட்டில் வருத்தப்படாத வாலிபர் சங்கம்.

SA-RO-JA

Super entertainer!!!

I don't bother if the meat of the plot was from an English movie, still it is a pucca time pass movie.

Why you should watch it?
- The comedy intertwined through out the plot, including the climax fight
- PremG, his dialogues and expressions. Special mention is needed for the one who has written his dialogues: springing out a surprise every time he opens his mouth.
- The kind of humor we see in college... predominantly teasing in nature... esp teasing the recent movies/actors (Sivaji and Simbu)
- The unique flavor and slang in the dialogs, esp Shiva (Eg: when he sees saroja for the first time, he asks "yaaru saar indha ladieS"....)
- The entire team is fun and does a good job in the acting department... Special mention to Sampath (the kidnapper), who has what we call as gethu
- Nice songs. Goes well with the pace of the movie
- Kodaanu kodi song + Nikitha.... I liked her a lot in Kurumbu and she is sizzling in this raunchy foot tapping number. I liked the black and white effect with just the red color singled out.
- Climax.
- The scene where most of the chennai-28 crew does a cameo... Rockers Raghu once again rocked (Tason pakkathla veedu venaam tason pakkathla veedu venaamnaa kettadhaanae...)

Would like to see more movies from the crew!

Just as the thoughts were endlessly going on within... just when the topics of the recent past were surfacing... just when I wanted answers... the speaker in my PC plays....

காலம் இன்னும் கூடவில்லை
மாலை இன்னும் வாடவில்லை
நம்பிக்கை இழக்கவில்லை...

மெய் அறியா அறியாமையில்,
பொய்யான மெய்யில் ,
சிக்குற்ற எந்தன்,
கட்டுக்களை அறுக்கும்,
அறக்கட்டளை என்று வருமோ...
அன்று பித்தம் களைந்து,
சித்தம் தெளிந்து,
பித்தனும் ஆவான் சித்தனே...

Snapshot

Comfortably postponed - uncomfortable situations - time's closing - Stuck, quite uncomfortably! - paining the circle - not wanting to decide - doing crap - knowing not any reasons - making up pseudo claims - dabbling and getting stuck - sticking past - fear - societal valuation - unknown yearnings - how much will quench - when will they drop - what's happening within - not to get stuck - not to wander away - how to get out - how to be on - how to reach - what to do - misgivings - total confusion - Unappealing pseudo-goals - self-hate - incapable baggage - desiring being - Eternal thirst for eternity.

Way of life

A hungry ant, chasing the floating sugar lump, hanging from the stick, knotted unawares at its back...

Non-being

Mighty words
Spoken about it
Didn't help recollect
The "accidental" experience of it.

One similar fall,
In the sacred space,
Bought it all back...
And now, I want more.

Back!

Back and yearning!

26!!!

Biologically, 26 revolutions is over!

Though 26 sounds like getting older, it doesn't feel so... With the rejuvenating source within, let's see how much younger we can get....

It took years twenty-two
To meet my father, the second
How many years more
To take the birth, the second...

Go away...
Don't stick yourself to me...
Away... Go...
Ego.

A couple of more revolutions...
All that is to be seen, will be seen,
Including the third pinnacle
And the eyes will close.

A million things might have gone my way, but a small mosquito, right now buzzing around my ears, can take it all away... Such is my poor plight...

Yesterday and today have been a revelation of sorts... Whatever was spoken about was just there right in front of my eyes. The fickleness of my mind, the fickleness of my emotions, body getting affected by the thought process... How to run through with these impostors... Hayyo...
Inability to come to terms with a few things... I am able to see the reason but I am unable to come out of it in a sensible fashion...

Mercy please.

Hmmm

So... dazed!
As I watch this play,
Unfold with its twists and turns,
Dazed... so dazed!
----------------------------------
As I hang around
In dropping leaves to the ants
The older ant is on board
Grace!
----------------------------------
The half understood verses
Were probably right...
As the plot unfolds
An inexplicable peace
Is all is.

void *

When I yearned,
It didn't happen...
When I yawned,
It did happen...

Why, I wondered...
Then it dawned...
For it to happen,
Only I was not needed.

Titbits...

In the last few weeks, I am noticing that a few emotions/reactions I haven't seen in a while are surfacing up... Anger, irritability, dislike...

When one door is shut,
The others have to open,
For the air isn't still yet,
It has to flow...

For a long time, I used to keep shaking my legs involuntarily while sitting... Now in the last few days I realize I am doing this. What I am not clear is if I did have this habit in the last few years too but was unaware of it or that it had subsided but is now surfacing up again due to "one door shutting up"

Yet another incident to prove how futile the situation is.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

You're here
Wherever I may be...
For you are the person
That drives me...

Fall here and there
Wherever it may be...
There's always a Hand
To lift up me...

I'll do what I do
Whatever it may be...
For we are together
In this lovely sea....

p.s: The above song is not mine. It was sung by someone in the context of this post. I modified it a bit to suit the present moment.

Lunch at office

Lunch at office... Unlike the people I see here, I am absolutely fine eating alone. If someone comes and joins me, I don't have an issue with that too... But even if I see the whole team eating together, I don't join them.... I simply find my sweet secret spot, eat and just go...

Loner? May be... I kinda enjoy that... One of the reasons might be that I don't wish to speak when eating... Especially when people want to socialize... oft-repeated topics from the few lunches I've been part of mostly center around shopping or technical discussions or american humor that I hardly find it funny... yuck!

p.s: But eating along with friends at home is a different case...

Leaf or life

A bunch of leaves
Floating together
The swim is nice
Warm and Happy...

With the swim
Tiring down
One after another
Settle on the shores...

The few wild ones
Eyeing the ocean
Unmindful of the shores
What will they do...

In the winds
They trust
In the winds
That begun the swim
In the winds
That power the swim
In the winds
That will power
The swim, to the ocean.

This day, that age...

Last year, this day, the day of Guru poornima, was at Lake Manasarover. Had one of life's greatest fortunes that day. Performed Guru Pooja to Sadhguru... And to The Lake, the numerous "visitors" and to Kailash, who was very clearly visible from the banks of the lake.

And to touch and bow down to the foot marks of Sadhguru... It wouldn't have mattered to die that day...

Was it the fruits of a hundred life times? Whatever it was, doesn't matter... Gratitude is all that is prevailing right now...

Gratitude...

Words fail...
For what you've imparted
The way life has transformed
The way every little thing about
That which is called me has changed...

"A tiny freckle of energy"
The words keep resounding...
A tiny freckle, this one,
Still wants the expanse
A riddle, it was
Until you unraveled it...

Words fail...
In silence...
In gratitude,
I bow down to thee.
To all the other kind hearted ones
Who lit lamps along
The path they walked...

And to the very one
Who taught all this...
Who IS.

Sakkarakatti...

Another Rahman musical for a newbie's debut (following JTYJN, Ada), this time in Tamil.
While there was some debate over some of my friends over their incapability to appreciate the music as they used to in the older days, I liked the album and it has been running for quite some time in my music player...

Naan eppodhu: Loved Reena's voice. Was able to appreciate it more than Meenaxi's "yeh rishta" as I was able to understand the lyrics.

Chinnamma: One of my all time favorites. In Tamil, it just became better. Benny and Chinmayi did great justice. Loved the female counterpoints.

Elay: Refreshing guitar strumming and violin interludes. Nice rendition.

Taxi: What a cool song. I won't be surprised if this became the chartbuster of the year. Blaaze's rap and Vivian's French interludes are awesome

Marudhani: The "munbe vaa" for this year. One of the songs that can make it into my all time favorite melodies. Madhushree's voice is indeed "madhu". Though the diction is better, still there is room for improvement.

I miss you da: One of the weirdest experimentations I've heard so far. Catches on slowly. Special mention to the totally different style of singing by Chinmayi...

Summary: One of the better albums you can lay your hands on.

Another one...

Similar experience, but this time, due to this.

Ada pongayya...

Context: Even if all of the never ending desires come true, this being will not get satisfied unless it finds its ultimate expression.

Mood: Lost!

IF

If only the skin hadn't imbibed the sweetness of the fruit within...

Calvin, the Hero

Rather, it should be Bill Watterson. The most entertaining comic strip I've ever read.
This has been my status today. Just loved it.

Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Mazhayin thuliyil nadhiyaa?

Nadhiya was the favorite actress in my school days. Happened to come across an amazing song, both in terms of music as well as the on screen appearance of my yesteryear favorite stars...

And I think there is none yet in Tamil cinema to displace her charm and beauty...

p.s: BTW I am smirking at the title ;-)

General wonderment!

Why is it that most of my yesteryear "beauties" ended up marrying absolutely "dhadhdhi" guys...
:D

p.s: My roomies will ratify the above claim :D

The game of hide and seek...

புல் அரும்பாகட்டும்
மலையின் முகட்டாகட்டும்
பிழம்பாகட்டும் பனியாகட்டும்
...எதுவாகட்டும்...
படைத்த ஒவ்வொன்றிலும்
உன்னை ஊற்றி ஊற்றிப்
படைத்து என் கண்ணில் இருந்து
மட்டும் ஒளிந்து விளையாடும்
விளையாட்டும் உன் திருவிளையாடலோ...
இந்தத் திருவிளையாட்டிலே என்றேனும்,
தன் திரு ஆடலை காண மாட்டேனோ...
கரை சேர மாட்டேனோ...
அப்பனே...

The "Truth" stories

Stories in hundreds
Colorful, magnificent and fantastic...
Verses in thousands
Extolling, melting and dissolving...
And fantastic too...
Were just "fantastic" stories
Once...
But not anymore...
As they begin
To mock at my existence
And its ignorance
With nothing at disposal
But for the breath,
Now I sit,
Simply watching...
In...
Out...
In...
Out...
In...
Out...

What's up

The last 5-6 weeks has been running off just like that... Some of the significant things that happened...

• In the presence of the master
• BSP volunteering
• Mahima foundation stone laying
• Buddha poornima
• SFO trip
• Weekend treks to nearby places
• Usual loads of laughter with leg pulling reaching new heights in our house
• Ada and JTYJN albums
• Office deadlines
• A few new Isha friends
• May be a few other stuff
• A new realization

The impermanence of it...
The triviality of the moment...
As it dawned out of nowhere
Dispelled the mighty darkness of fantasies
That held me for long in dreams
To awaken into the reality
To walk more freely...
As I walk, I can't help but wonder...
When will I fly???

Orkut and my fortunes

Today's fortune: You will be unusually successful in business

"You will be usually unsuccessful in business" would have reflected the reality better, given my total lack of interest in doing business :D

Ada and Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Naa are rocking albums from thalaivar...

Had to leave the post midway and don't feel like continuing...

Andha oru naal...

அந்த ஒரு நாள்...

இன்னல்கள் பல கொண்டு
வினைகள் பலவற்றில் சிக்குண்டு
தவித்துக்கொண்டிருந்த இவ்வுயிரை
உன் கல்லையே கரைக்கும் கருணையால்
அனைத்தையும் உருக்கும் உன் புன்னகையால்
அரவணைத்து அனைத்திலிருந்தும் விடுவித்தாயே
என் அப்பனே, மாயக்கண்ணனே...

:D again

:D

என் காதலே என் காதலே
என்னை என்ன செய்யப்போகிறாய்...
கிள்ளுவதை கிள்ளி விட்டு
ஏன் தள்ளி நின்று பார்க்கிறாய்...

:D

Today's fortune: Your dearest wish will come true

I wish too :))

Summer break

As I come
To the door once more...
Will I get
The elusive peek...
Will I get
The direction I seek...

:D

Today's orkut fortune: You are soon going to change your present line of work

Got tagged

Well, this is the first time I get tagged I believe... Though wasn't so keen in the topic, still let me try something at something different for a change... BTW Fathima was the one who tagged me (http://fathimas.blogspot.com)

Family:
Amma, appa, akka, letchu, seethu and paddhu... One of life's blessings are my parents... That's all I can say... In a lot of ways, they brought me up the way children are supposed to be brought up. Given the right kind of freedom and choices while at the same time guiding in those situations that demanded them...

Friends:
An integral part of my life... Here again, it was life's blessing when I met a plethora of them during my undergraduation in Anna university. To this day, it continues. The gang at Hyderabad was special. That was when my life directions changed for good, to the better, and the group there was definitely an integral part of the development within me. The group still continues here at Redmond :)

My love:
I don't know what to write here... to get into the state of love is getting quite natural by the day... not with a person, object or situation... but just getting into the state... the ability to see another person as one's child is happening much in abundance these days though I don't make an effort to do so... it's nice btw :)

Things I like:
I don't feel like filling this in...

Books
Sadhguru's books and articles, browsing through blogs...

Movies
Lots...

Myself
The best of all topics :D
How can I answer my life's search here... :))

Recent plans
A few trips here and there... General amusement over where life is going to take me soon.

Activities
Cook, eat, work, sleep, do practices, volunteering, roaming around places, laughing like crazy, pulling friends' legs at any given opportunity...

Dreams
It's been a long time since I dreamed... The focus is just on one.

I tag:
Well, people who feel interested or are looking for something to blog, please continue...

Ignorance

அங்கும் இங்கும்
தாவி ஓடி
தொங்கி குதித்து
அதில் வரும்
சிற்றின்பத்தில் இன்புற்று
இவை இயலா
மற்றவைகளைக்காட்டிலும்
இன்புற்று இருப்பதாய்
நினைதுக்கொண்டதாம்
சுதந்திரப்பறவைகள்
பற்றி அறியா
கூண்டில் சிறைகொண்ட
குரங்கு.

Music

If you knew me, it wouldn't be a surprise that I idolize A.R.Rahman. One of the often repeated characteristics I keep repeating about his music is the multiple layers, intricately woven in perfection... that most of the times you listen to the same song, you get to catch a new instrument or sound that would have remained hidden for years to surface.. I should take one song as an example and write in detail about the layers my ear could perceive... In many ways, listening to the songs with a single pointed focus on just listening is a meditative experience in one way for me.

Well, I happened to listen to one of my favorite tracks from Mr.Romeo called "Thanneerai kaadhalikkum meengala illai"... Most of you should be familiar with it. Here it is...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=odGzSyKN8OU

Listen from 00:05 to 00:15. There is a synthetic sound in the background. For all these years I enjoyed it as a new sound. It was only two days back when I happened to listen to the song in a new Zune player, thanks to my roomie, that I knew what that sound was.

Highlight here to know the answer: It is basically the first two lines of the song, synthesized electronically to sound that way.

It was an OMG experience...

Hmmm

Came across this during some random browsing today...
http://www.bharatadesam.com/people/ramana_maharshi.php

At the end of reading it, tears were uncontrollably flowing... reasons... I don't know... This is not the first time this kind of a thing is happening... There is something fundamentally within that is responding but the mind is unable to decipher it... but that's fine... I don't want it to either...

Space

It's the space...
That makes all the difference...
It's the space...
That makes ayogi a yogi...

What to say...what can I say...

Eye and I

Like the Eye
That can see everything
But itself...
So am I.

Climax

What does it matter,
Where we stood in the race...
What does it matter,
What accolades we won...
What does it matter,
How much wealth we amassed...
What does it matter,
Who we won over...
What does it matter at all...
The love, the hate, the envy...
The win, the loss, the pain...
How does any of the above matter at all,
When it is time to leave...

The fool's day

For the April 1, was surprised that there was no deluge of April fool mails this time in my inbox...

Is it coz of the realisation that each one is indeed fooling himself every day, one way or the other, just as I am...

Mr.mean.

Written in everything,
From sub-atomic to the vast void...

Missing the obvious
Gloats in pride
Of its' useless creations
The mean me...

Flight

She: Come let's fly.
He: Won't it be cold out there. Can I carry my nest along?
She: Come let's fly.
He: I've always wanted a nest like this. Can I carry my nest along?
She: Come let's fly.
He: Ok. One last night in the nest. Tomorrow we shall fly...

Lovers

Embrace of the lovers two,
Warmth of the lovers two,
Light of the lovers two,
Grace of the lovers two...

That's all is needed...every moment...
Every moment shall pass by...
Lost in them,
Shall I, live life...

...

Strange words...
From unexpected people...
Laughed it off, playfully...

Same words,
Recollection in Presence,
Seems to reveal the whole picture ahead...

Is it plain imagination?
Or is it Nature's communication?
Know I not...
Time shall answer...

Haha...

It dawned yesterday, as I was sitting with the wise man...

Haha!

I picked up a few pieces of wood from here and there, built a foundation, lived in it for quite some time. Now I was trying to build a mansion on top of that. The weakness of the foundation, which isn't apparent having lived in it for so long, when it comes to realisation...

Haha!

Whatever science tells me, is also a piece of wood. Whatever mythology tells me is also a piece wood. Whatever anyone tells me, is also a piece of wood. When one picked up what to build a foundation for himself is different and hence the varied foundations. But whatever it is, it is still a weak foundation. The little craps of wood can't support the mansion.

No more wood picking. I can see a mansion near by. The wise man there has given the tools to build my mansion.

Haha!

Wish

Mood: Listening to Raja sir's devotional compositions.
Effect: Wish I could write music someday, to sing praise of all I want to.

Emotions

The complex net...
The twines changed...
The patterns changed...
The mesh still binds...

Shoonya

Omnipresent: For all n, n+0 = n
Omnipotent: For all n, n*0 = 0

That age, this day...

With constant urges,
To complete me,
Sought one after another,
Helpless, fruitless...

With a few residual urges,
Still restraining,
If only life helps transcend,
Shall the choice become the path.

Pain

Hurts more
Than the filth of the mind,
Hurts more
Than the urges of the body,
Hurts more
Everything that is me,
Hurts more
With each day...
The pain of ignorance.

Mansion

Here I am,
In a new mansion of my own,
Breathing fresh air,
Through windows five,
Alone I am,
Happily in the world of my own...

Here I am,
In the old mansion of my own,
Breathing filthy air,
Through the same windows five...
Bear can't I, the golden fetters, the slave in the mansion...
Want I to break open the walls, Into the world unknown...

The wise and the fool

One of the best speeches on spirituality, made by the wisest man I have ever come across, argued about by one of the most self conceited rabble-rouser who thinks of himself as one in 9 billion sperms. For the little brains exhibited I can't argue with that!

http://conclave.digitaltoday.in/conclave2008/index.php?option=com_magazine&opt=section&sectionid=9&secid=28&issueid=32&assid=2462&Itemid=1&click=1

A slap, right in time!

Read the below from http://www.spiritual-teachers.com/stories/zen.htm

The Great Crossing

The Buddha said: "A man beginning a long journey sees ahead a vast body of water. There is neither boat nor bridge. To escape the dangers of his present location, he constructs a raft of grass and branches. When he reaches the other side he realizes how useful the raft was and wonders if he should hoist it on his back and carry it with him forever. Now if he did this, would he be wise? Or, having crossed to safety, should he place the raft in a high dry location for someone else to use? This is the way I have taught the dharma, the doctrine - for crossing, not for keeping. Cast aside evey proper state of mind, oh monks - much less wrong ones - and remember well to leave the raft behind!"

Quotes and a story

The path is the destination and the destination is hidden in the path as the creator is hidden in the creation.

The highest is also the simplest.
-Sadhguru


The True Path
http://www.101zenstories.com/index.php?story=56

Just before Ninakawa passed away the Zen master Ikkyu visited him.
"Shall I lead you on?" Ikkyu asked.
Ninakawa replied: "I came here alone and I go alone. What help could you be to me?"
Ikkyu answered: "If you think you really come and go, that is your delusion. Let me show you the path on which there is no coming and going."
With his words, Ikkyu had revealed the path so clearly that Ninakawa smiled and passed away.

Nuts

Of late, my house and its inmates are becoming nuts. Laughing at almost every exchange of words... Thanks to Naresh's ability to recollect film dialogs in a flash's moment and with Anto and Arun providing enough opportunities to get their legs pulled, it's a jovial deluge all the way...

If any other person walks into our house, that person is not going to have the slightest context as to why we are rolling on the floor for an apparently harmless statement... Such is the state... :-D

A recent one:

Anto was trying to choose among the hundred useless CDs we were having and at one point he was repeatedly coming up with total crap movies... When he came up with "varavu ettanaa selavu patthanaa", Naresh, who was sitting nearby, with an action about to kick Anto, retorted "Egiri vuttenaa...."

:-D :-D :-D

Fad

A fad.. I see often these days.. among my acquaintances... philosophy... discussing spirituality...
Used to be at those quarters once... hours and hours of deliberation over nothing fruitful... trying to define the universe, derive the truth from the utterly trivial premises called the mind - garbage bin!

The change in perception "experience" brings to spirituality changes the very roots of ones life. It has been so, for me... Words can't express the gratitude...

Saturday night, 11:36 PM

கண்டதில்லை இப்படி ஒன்று
புரியவில்லை என்ன ஏதென்று
ஜோதியின் வசீகரம் தாங்காமல்
பாய்ந்து ஒன்றாகிடும் விட்டில் பூச்சி.

The night

The night,
The awakening night...
As what happened,
Flashes through...
Nothing pours forth,
But for tears...

Tears of what?
I don't know.....

It is just too overwhelming...

Just a strand,
Bear can't I,
The exuberance of this single strand...
Know not what,
The whole is...
Drenched in tears...
Make me thee.

Surrender

The fight for freedom...
The more the fight
The ropes get more tight
The poor plight...

In a moment of true surrender
Is born a freedom unknown
One of Ultimate freedom
Questions, no more...
Questioner, no more...
Just the play...
As it happens in its full exuberance,
The trivial speck just watches by...

Title is needless again

oNe of the gifts of my life hAppened this day a few decades ago... Many mAny happy returns To Her :-)

Why to name it ;-)

So when did this all begin
How does this all end
And questions many more
Many many more...
Bewildered.. wanders the seeker
Hidden... watches the master
Ohhh...

:-)

5 years

I realised sometime back that I am in the 5th year of blogging... Not sure if made a mention of this previously... Such is the state... When I feel like writing something, I open it, type it and close it...

Never thought how far I'll blog when I started. It's been a nice companion, to keep track of the path travelled. I still haven't had the encouragement to read through the entire blog, from the beginning... When I do that, one thing is for sure, most of the posts are going to the waste bin straight. Lots and lots of things about the mind has changed so much and hence its associated ideologies, beliefs (and all the existentially useless baggages that come along with it)...

End game

விளையாட்டாய் அறியாமல் சீண்டினேன்
தாண்டவம் ஆடி வந்தவன்
அழிக்காமல் விடுவானோ என்னை
தானாக்கி அழியாமல் இருப்பானோ...

Pendulum

Now to the left,
Now to the right,
Now to the left,
Now to the right,
...
...

As I kept swinging,
Thought I, keeping along with time,
Was my purpose...
Until the man beyond time came...

I still keep swinging,
Time is running by...

Indispensable things...

Well, as my friend said once, "there is no thing or person indispensable in this world". Though people might want to think that their levels of attachment might forbid this truth, when reality strikes, they still see through...

If I were to think what were those things that I am so invovled with, on an everyday basis, though they might not be indispensable, but still very close, (not including life essentials like food, air etc) they should be...

* Practices :-) [Isn't this a life essential ;-)]
* Music
* Humour
* Friends

Smell of sorts...

Have you ever noticed the peculiar smell those old temples have. The one that I can relate to immediately is Meenakshi amman kovil. There's a peculiar smell in many of the places within the temple. Especially in those places where the abishekam waters collect. It is an amalgamation of the various offerings that ranges from milk to ghee to panneer to curd to tender coconut to chandanam to panjamirtham to vibhuthi to so many other things....

Well, today I am constantly smelling around a similar smell around me. And the reason being I processed my rudraksh today after a long time. The processing, that involves ghee and milk (and eventually curd) and vibhuthi produces that smell eventually. A lovely smell to be around with :)

Ninaithom samaithom

Let me list down the things that have gotten cooked out of our kitchen.

Sambhar: drumstick, radish, capsicum, carrot, mixed veg, tomato-potato, etc
Rasam: the standard only one we know
Poricha kootu: Chow chow, onion (Naresh exclusive)
Vegetable poriyals/fries: Cabbage, carrot, potato, mushroom, beans, yam, cauliflower, ladies finger etc
Occasional dishes: Rice sevai, pasta, pongal, bisibelabath, bajji
Sabji: Mixed Veg, Aloo capsicum gobi and its variants, Cabbage curry, Capsicum curry etc
Regulars: chapati, dosai, rice
Biryani: Veg, mushroom
Fried rice: Carrot, capsicum, tomato, coconut, mixed veg, zeera, etc etc
Chutneys: Cocunut (white), coconut (red), mint, Mom's special
Other trials: Channa gravy

Some more wud hav gotten missed for sure...

On the way: Different kurmas etc...

Phew! Am amazed that the one time lazy goose who knew only to eat is cooking so many stuff all so easily... happy too :-)

Untitled - Notepad

The oneness I missed
The lost opportunity
Inspite of the occasional bursts
Pains...

Random stuff

My friend was referring to how incongruent many of my older posts were, when compared to the present. Very true. Many of them are crap. That is precisely the reason why I started blogging. To track how this mind had been thinking at various points in time. How a traitor it is, on whom I had relied on for too long.

V-day... I don't attribute any great signifcance to this day. Well, but I did get a very precious gift. I got to hear "Mood Kaapi" from Maestro. This is the orchestral version of the "Thumbi vaa" song from "Olangal", a malayalam movie. The orchestral version is way too far ahead of the original song. This was the piece that had bought tears to me when I first heard it a few years back in Ilayaraja's concert in chennai. There is something so deep in this song that moves something deep within me. If I were to choose to listen to one last song before I lose my hearing, it would be this!

With my music player, I am able to hear very subtle and minute sounds. This is a treat, especially in Rahman's songs. Everytime I hear one of his songs, though I might have heard it for 100 times before, a new sound pops now and then, very often. I can't help the goosebumps that come up, during those times, partly in response to the new sound, while partly in response to the deep dedication and effort he puts into every song of his.

Feel blessed to be in the era of 2 great composers...

Got to speak with a "friend" of mine who is visiting US for a brief period of time. Whenever I speak with her or her hubby or some other friends of hers, the questions they ask me, somehow linger too long to trouble me out of my comfort zones... Hmmm....

Lack of clarity, lack of will to move out of comfort zone, vasanas, sticking to the tools, awaiting with hope...

random words

Just as I was listening to something on my machine, my hand started scribbling out random words that were passing through the mind. The words, reflecting the same spelling and strokes used to create them, were...

needs - somewhr - evolution - monkey - RainMaker - Larger slice of Life - Almost there but never there - A taste - No establishment - Bhakti - Grace - Sadhguru

Jodha Akbar

This is by far one of THE BEST compositions from the master, A.R.Rahman. Each song deserves a separate post in itself. The multi-layers, the richness of voice, the mixing, the sounds, the voice, the soul stirring stuff... everything is there in this album.


With this album, Rahman has taken film music a few levels up. No contemporary MD can come up with such a brilliant composition, for a film set in the 15th century. Will write a post when I find some time, on each song...

Quote

If something truly wonderful has to happen, you are not needed. If you want small, petty things to happen to you, you can do it. But if you really want something enormous to happen to you, you are not needed. If you know how to keep yourself aside, it will happen.

-Sadhguru

8:10 pm, office respite.

When you move, it doesn't. When you don't, it does.
Then, it's time to shut up.

Three snaps

Sugar, it seemed!

With every grain
The dryness increased.

Salt, it is
In the parched throat...

---------------------------------------------

All fingers,
Different shapes and size,
Point in the same direction,
Irrefutably!

----------------------------------------------

I know not thy dedication,
I know not thy love,
I know not what thy did,
But I feel you...

And in that embrace,
In that knowing,
In that possibility,
I tread...

Not

Nought to One...
One to Two...
Two to Three...

Tired I am, of these counts,
And the path, unfolds...

As I reach,
The nought,
I become,
Not.

Movies

Got to see three movies this weekend.

Pollaadhavan: Nice movie. I liked it. The movie was moving at a fast pace but for the inappropriate positioning of the songs. Clearly, the pick of the Diwali Tamil movies. The performance of Dhanush and Daniel Balaji deserve a mention.

Taare Zameen Par: What a wonderful movie! Was very happy to see such a high quality movie from Bollywood. The director in Aamir has etched every scene and has extracted an excellent performance from everyone in the movie, especially the children. They were so natural. The performance of Aamir himself was very beautifully done. And the foundation of the movie, the boy who donned Ishaan, am sure will get the best child artiste award for the year. Music by Shankar, Ehsaan, Loy was also excellent. Overall, a must watch movie.

Ratatouille: Pixar never failed to amaze me and this movie is no exception. The way these story writers weave the magic fabric with their imaginations knowing no bounds is dumbfounding. So seamlessly they build the emotions, humor, human sentiments, music, dance, everything... through the animated characters. Being an animation movie freak, I enjoyed the movie very much.

பயணம்

கண்கள் இருந்தும்
தெரியாத பாதை
கண்கள் மூடியதும்
தெரிய வந்தது...

பாதை தெரிந்தும்
அதில் நடந்தும் விழுந்தும்
செய்வதறியாது இழுக்கப்படும்
குருடன் ஆனேனே அப்பனே...

என்று கிட்டுமோ அந்த வெளிச்சம்
அன்றே எனக்கு மோக்க்ஷம்
அது வரை தொடரும் இப்பயணம்
உன்னைத் தேடி, உன் கையை பிடித்துக்கொண்டு...

:)

* Happy new year!

* How much is enough? Every point, how much ever I gather, something more is always desired. This was "knowledge". With awareness, when I experience this, the fool I am making out of myself is increasingly becoming visible. And this is for my good.

* Just the way life has guided me along this far, I wait for it, personified or otherwise, neither of which makes a difference any longer, to lead me to where it has to.

* As I happened to move along with new people, I realised how much of a transformation has happened within. The sense of effortlessness, being in the moment, the love for the other being, being in tune woth nature... I don't know what it was...but the very way life is happening within me seems different from the rest.

* As lost as always, hanging on to the tools, preparing the soil, to flower some day...